no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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