3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
