sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You did what with his pubic hair?
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