I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
