I am in a vortex of obligation.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
