He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
