If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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