whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
