then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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