Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
