shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
