its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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