that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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