my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
