Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
