He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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