I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
