The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
