You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
