i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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