I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
