Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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