$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just found a bag of teeth...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize