the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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