recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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