Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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