some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize