apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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