i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
