Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Houston, we have a squirter
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
