I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
