Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
