i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
