He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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