I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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