and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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