im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
