my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
