Non-Jews are for practice
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
