Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
