Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
