The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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