Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
