tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
