R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
