I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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