Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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