Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
