Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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