Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
