i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
