Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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