You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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