Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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