i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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