I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
