i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
