I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
