The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
