cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
