i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
