i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
