I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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