Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
